Are You Possessed and Don't Know It? Demons, Desire, and Shadow
The Inverted Power of Your Suppressed Self
[the shadow] is like the wise old man who looks straight into our eyes with a strange smile on his lips, looking right through us while we are giving an ‘honest’ description of ‘who we really are’. And when we keep ignoring its calls, it is also that wild beast who runs towards us in our nightmares to ‘shake us up’ and finally take note of all the wild instincts simmering within but which we simply won’t acknowledge.
—Sri Aurobindo
Introduction
I believe the root of society's ailments stems from generational child abuse, and nowhere does it shine more than in our suppressed desires. In this article, I will lay out the anatomy of this sorcery and answer the following questions:
How are inner demons created?
Why do they become so hideous in our night terrors?
How do you know if you have a demon or are possessed by your shadow?
How Demons are Made
The psychological Shadow is the realm of the demon. Demons are thwarted desires. Desires are precious leaves growing out of the soul. The soul is a tenderling growing ever so gently toward the Soul-Star above the head.
An inner demon is a deformation of the soul's desires. It is a phantom trapped in the mirror of its own trauma. Consciousness ‘looks through’ the devil or demons, depending on the severity of trauma. Beauty becomes hideousness. Innocence becomes corruption. Laughter becomes grief. And wonder becomes fear.
When a desire arises, similar to a child's attempt to touch a toy and being slapped by a parent, leaving this experience unprocessed can lead to the formation of a demon. For example, a child who is spanked in front of friends by a drunken stepfather experiences deep humiliation. If this trauma is not processed, it can develop into a toxic shame that acts as a parasite (shadow servitor), dominating their awareness until they recognize its psycho-spiritual bonds.
An experientially significant ‘gift’ of our shadow is that it contains a huge amount of repressed psychic energy within it. So working with our shadow is intuitively felt to be the right way, even though everything in our nature wants to run away from it because everything unfamiliar is also scary.
—Sri Aurobindo
Desire remains constant, like a tree growing upward toward the soul-star. However, when it encounters invasive stimuli, it twists toward the grotesque. A child matures into an adult who is psychologically and spiritually warped. Instead of blooming into a life-affirming tree through love, acceptance, curiosity, and wonder, the individual becomes enslaved by their own powers. These powers invert, like chains constricting the soul, with dark magic turned against them, fostering self-hate and allowing thorns and weeds to flourish.
Saga of the Nightmare
The soul is an inherently self-correcting energy sphere. Its deepest, unconscious parts purge the trapped energy, which becomes increasingly toxic over the years. Night terrors serve as messages from the depths; those trapped selves reaching for the light of awareness. They are the ghosts of our past, and only we can save them from their watery depths. They are psycho-spiritual selves, servitors, caught in a time loop, seeking release.
As the inner child and its creations call from deep within, the mortal is haunted by nightmares, broken relationships, self-deceptions, and addictions. These sentinels, dark messengers, serve as gifts that faithfully cause destruction, forcing them to their knees, humbling their hearts through radical self-assessment, self-repentance, and self-forgiveness until they become sincere enough to seek the truth. They become spiritual seekers of the inner path.
“The more Chaotic I am, the more complete I am.”
― Austin Osman Spare
This is the language of the unconscious, the purpose of the dark teacher, and the essential quest to release the Dragon within. One must win the dragon’s presence, endure the trial of the critic, face the demon of the abyss (shame, grief, self-loss) because these are ourselves—the power that has been suppressed.
The longer this desire is suppressed, the more pressure accumulates until, eventually, the kraken breaks free from its chains and emerges from the depths of the unconscious. This process can be managed through inner work and yoga, but the monster may also be unleashed through crime, drugs, abuse of others, and self-harm.
We become obsessed with ourselves. Our energy reverses. We get stuck in the mirror, COMBING the MIRROR to COMB our HAIR. Trapped in the narcissistic reflection.
The Ancestral Shadow: Dweller on the Threshold
The Theosophical name for the shadow is the Dweller on the Threshold. This title addresses the ancestral inheritance that sustains generational trauma. It is the accumulation of unconscious atavisms, childhood, and ancestral trauma that haunts the individual through dreams, aberrant complexes, and psychosis.
This is the family curse one seeks to break, the “thou shalt not pass” ring of fire established by the neophyte (a person claiming their freedom from familial suppression) who chooses to confront the generational demons. These are the ones who inherit the genetic courage to break the toxic lineage, much like a tree that grows a new branch from its burnt trunk.
“The Dweller is actually the astral shell of the same individual in a previous incarnation.”
—Helena P. Blavatsky
Sacred Darkness
Darkness isn’t inherently evil. That’s a concept programmed into us by the Christian church. The universe is made up of darkness. Wombs are dark. Seeds lie in the darkness of the soil. When we close our eyes to reflect and meditate, our inner world is also dark. Light is what emerges from that darkness.
Mysticism is the realm of the Mysterium Tremendum, the haunting power of spirit. It is a place of sacredness for those mystics who lean toward the mysterious. This is why the spiritual path is compared to a labyrinth, a cave, or a dark forest; the seeker must enter and embark on the quest, confront her fears, meet the shadow, and reach the mountaintop to return to the villagers with the gold she found on the hero’s journey.
Darkness is also where things that are scared hide . . .
Out Through the In Door
The paradox of confronting our demon is that, rather than fight and resist it: “I am a sinner, you are going to hell,” etc., you have to cooporate, feel it, be with the presence of the leviathan, shadow, and feel it fully so it is released from its chamber that religions are trying so hard to keep pandora’s box shut.
You might think you need to keep this energy locked away due to fears of what it might do—such as causing debauchery, murder, sexual deviancy, or other harmful behaviors. However, in reality, when this energy is expressed through movement, art, music, writing, or journaling, and when it feels safe to reveal itself without fear of rejection, it can begin to heal. This energy often acts out because it perceives itself as hidden and ugly, driven by self-rejection. Allowing it to come out and be seen helps it to find validation and to process what has happened to it.
It is the twisted face of the tender leaf of desire. You don't chain the shadow demon; instead, you tame it through radical acceptance and harness the unconscious forces to guide you toward your true north.
More accurately, you are the Demon, the Angel, and everything in between.
Travel well, my friends,
—Zzenn
Read: unSpirital: A Spiritual Journey
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I mean really though. There's no demons
No possessions.
Its way refuse accountability. Perpetuate denial.
If not you, then who?
You are never not you.